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I'm pushing my thesis deadline back again. Probably that's obvious to those who know me IRL, but I've been doing a very good job of cleverly concealing how badly I've been faring for the past six weeks or so, so maybe not. My nigh-disappearance from the internet has had much more to do with hiding from everything than it does with being academically preoccupied.

So. The honest answer to the question of how I've been doing is: badly. For a long time now. I'm sorry to those of you (most of you) whom I've answered dishonestly in that regard; I'm still working on being strong enough to let other people know that I'm weak.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss my depression symptoms and see about treatment options. I've been tired and sad for such a long time, and since school let out it's gotten progressively worse. And I won't live like that any more. Something has to change, and I am tired of waiting for it to change on its own.

I don't know when I'll be back to my old self, or if. Soon, I hope. Until then, I'm trying to work my way back from the hiding I've been doing, so you may see more of me. But I can't make any promises.

Just . . . pray for me, if you would. Stick with me, if you can. Try and make me be honest about how I've been and how I am.

I can't think of any way to end this entry that feels like resolution, so. There it is.

Here I am.